the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
