I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
