Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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