he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
