Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
