i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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