did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
