just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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