they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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