weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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