He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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