remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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