Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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