A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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