I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
send nudes
from the living room?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
