i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
