my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
