i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
