Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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