end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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