singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
