Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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