ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my being single is dangerous.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
