make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
