I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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