he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize