I'm going to jail i love you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
