dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
