The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
