So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize