I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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