I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
