But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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