So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
