P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
