i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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