i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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