it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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