After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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