But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
