i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
