She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
