She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
