so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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