So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
