What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
