Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
