...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize