he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
