do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
