OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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