Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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