I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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