if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
