There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
