I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
