Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
