How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
