but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
