i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
