girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
