perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
