nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize