reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
