i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
