So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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