In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All the doctor said was why
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
