I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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